A whole new meaning to "going South"

I didn't post yesterday because I actually was deliberating on whether or not I should about this specific event that took place yesterday mid morning.  I'm still not quite sure what to say still over 24 hours later.  All I know is that Head Thing missed it because he was staring at his computer screen, but his buddy who was over saw the whole thing and about killed himself laughing.  So here it goes...

Things 1 and 2 were their normal weekend selves, up early, rowdy, and full of energy.  The Things and I had just got done playing this Toy Story Match Game that one of the Old Things got them for Christmas.  As I sat on the chair cleaning up the cards, the Things thought it would be fun to start a "kissing" fight with each other.  I can honestly say, I have no fucking clue where they learned this game.  I don't think Head Thing knows what kissing is, so they certainly didn't learn it from us! 

Being the mean old One Thing to Rule Them All that I am, I quickly warned them against playing this game that it would quickly go south.  That lead to saying, "enough boys..."  But before I could even get it all out everything went south...literally.  Everything started moving in slow motion.  Thing 1 did this crazy ass Matrix move leaning back to avoid an incoming kiss from Thing 2.  Thing 2's head didn't stop. It continued forward to kiss...the inseam of Thing 1's pj pants.  This is the point where I'm in utter shock.  I feel lie I'm doing the slow motion, "nnnnnnnoooooooooo" my face contorting in horrific ways, but no sound was able to escape me.  Head Thing's friend is covering his mouth and is damn near tears.  Finally things start moving at normal speed again for me and I start flipping out, "no, no, no!!! We're done, game over!"  Silently thanking the universe that today is a day that Thing 1 actually had more than just his underwear on and his acrobatics stretching his pants created a gap between the crime scene and the actual goods.  This event gave a whole new meaning to a game going south!  Let's not visit this direction again please, m'kay?

Now that I am mortified beyond belief that one of Head Thing's minions saw this transpire, I'm questioning everything about my parenting up to this point and how I handled the situation.  Overall I think the situation was extinguished rather quickly without any real questions as to why from the Things.  That's the great thing of little one's, their complete innocence.  That's why they can say and do the stupidest shit get away with it!

That was my yesterday!  My today consisted on snow on the East Coast, having to take the Things' out with me to run some errands and cut Thing 2's hair, all while dealing with "the apocalypse is coming" style of drivers. 

Thing 2 screamed bloody murder the whole time his hair was getting combed and trimmed, tears pouring down his cheeks.  Thing 1 must of had shit stuck in his ears today because he wasn't listening worth a damn.  I was seriously ready for a beer at 11 o'clock this morning... that's 5 o'clock somewhere isn't it?