Wow, today had been a series of events. It started after I came home from taking Thing 1 to school, I put on a kettle of water to make cocoa then went to get on my computer to do some research. I ended up finding what I was looking for and was very, very enthralled in what was going on. After about an hour or so of working I got up from my chair and headed for the kitchen. Wait...what's that awful smell? Holy shit!!!! I'm subconsciously trying to burn my house down today or something! Water is completely boiled out. My once white kettle is now a nasty smoked color. I couldn't salvage it if I tried. Oh, not to mention I need a new burner not too because the paint melted to the coils.
Driving was a task for me today. I swear my hormones are way outta balance this time because I've seriously been hit by the stupid tree/bus/airplane/unidentified flying object. Head Thing texted me when he was done with work so I could meet him at the daycare to pick up Thing 2 (he wanted mommy to pick him up today and daddy had his car seat). While pulling into the parking lot I had to stop to allow a rather large, and ungodly slow woman to cross. I very patiently sat without a word. From the back seat chimes Thing 1, "hurry up already woman, you're taking forever." I'm laughing to myself...ah, my normal irritability while driving has rubbed off on my Things. Probably not a good thing, but the timing was perfect, the woman was literally moving at the speed of sloth.
After I get Thing 2 we load into the car then head over to another parking lot to the grocery store because Thing 2 is begging and pleading for pop tarts. Head Thing drove his car over before me and I didn't see where he parked, so I drove till I found a spot that looked like Cinderella's shoe; the perfect fit. I get out my phone to dial the spouse but he's already approaching the car. As he opens the door for Thing 1he asks me "are you wearing a helmet today? The exit, which you will be coming out of when you're done, is all the way across the parking lot. You parked at the entrance." I almost snorted I was laughing so hard at his question. The only reply I could come up with is "walking is good for you."
Upon our arrival home the spouse assesses the damages at the stove. And once again starts in with the helmet. He promises he will be buying me one soon. Then he came up with the idea of having the helmet and the Bitch Cape together and I can be a superhero. He says, "but you need a name...like Special Bitch...or....Sped Bitch." "Sped Bitch?" I ask. "Yeah, special ed." Ok, I know my brain function is lacking today but damn!
{For those of you not currently privileged to know what the bitch cape is, allow me to enlighten you. As a young girls whenever I was in a "mood" my mother would ask me if I had my bitch cape on. It really bothered me every time she said it. One night she said it to me and it was the last time I was willing to deal appropriately with it. So I went to my room, tore up a couple of old dresses and made a black cape with a huge fabric BC in the center with 'BITCH CAPE' surrounding the logo. For some reason that helped me cope. Once my mom saw it she about killed herself laughing. From that point on it became a huge family joke. That cape was even mailed to one of my cousins, I think}
So I guess my name is officially changing from 'The one Thing to rule them all' to 'Sped Bitch'. Wow, my self-standards are dropping!
Where's the next blog?????????????
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