Wednesday, January 5, 2011

What a novel idea!

So my mother texts me the other day and tells me that I need to start a blog.  I questioned as to why she thought that necessary and she retorted because of my childrens' antics.  I had to snicker to myself and agree with her.  So here is the first, of hopefully many, blog post to come about the antics of my life.

For safety and privacy reasons I will not use factual names.  I will say however that I am married to a wonderful man, and have two incredible little boys.  I have come to find my life is very much like a Dr. Seuss book (a lot of Who's and Things).  So for referencing purposes in this and future blogs my oldest son will be Thing 1, since his is my first spawn, my youngest will be Thing 2, and my spouse will be here forth know as the Head Thing. 

I would like to first layout the relationship I have with my husband.  We have been married nearly 7 years, and the current age of 24, I feel like I've been married forever!  (Yeah, do the math)  My spouse and I have had our fair share of ups and downs, but let me tell you what, there is no other man in the world for me!  He is one sarcastic bastard and he compliments me perfectly.  I have found as each day goes on I'm more and more in love with him.  But enough of this sappy shit, lets get down to the nitty gritty...

My husband and I talk smack to each other on a continuous basis and have so much fun doing so.  We have even had friends visit and worry about how we speak to each other thinking we were serious.  We are told over and over again that we bicker like an old married couple.  Two things I find important:  1) Humor and  2) Communication...two things it took us years to find, but we now lay it on think!  Making up for lost time I think!

Ok, so now that you know I have 2 Things and a Head Thing lets get on to a little story.  This takes place two nights ago between the Head Thing and I as we laid in bed getting ready to go to sleep.  <ah-hem *clears throat*>  Somehow the conversation of my boobs came up, if that is what you would call them at this point.  I made a reference to them looking like... <*Sidebar* Have you ever had escargot?  I have...once, then spit it out.  It tasted like a balloon.  I think this is where my reference went wrong>...deflated escargot.  I think I meant to say deflated balloons, however this is not the worst part of the conversation.  Head Thing, witty as he is, immediately retorts, "nah, more like deflated souffle."  I immediately started laughing due to the image that I got in my head.  (See, we have a sick, twisted, humorful relationship!)  We shared a good laugh, had a couple more exchanges then the topic changed to...wait for it...financials.  Ehhhh.  But it turned out to be a conversation that put me to tears I was laughing so hard!  Head Thing finally described himself as the one that brings home the "bacon".  I got on the defensive and said "hey I've been bringing home some bacon too!"  My husband did the Pshhh laugh and told me that I was bringing home "bacon bits".  And that's when I lost it.  His witty retorts get me every single time.  I can't argue!  To an extent he was right. 

So now you have an idea of how the spouse and I work.  Now onto the Things.  Thing 1 is a total smart ass, just like me!  And yes, I am proud of it.  He is serious when the occasion calls for it and has manners like a gentleman, but if you ask a stupid question, expect a smart ass response.  He just started Kindergarten this year and is able to tell and comprehend jokes above his age level.  Yes, he makes mama proud!  Thing 2 on the other hand...we have been in the terrible 3's stage and I'm surprised my hair is not grey!  He is my mamma's boy, security blanket Linus, Tasmanian Devil!  They say you get what you give x10 when you have kids of your own.  Okay, I know I'm stubborn, but DAMN!  x10 is a bitch!  I love my little minions, the days I want to rip my hair out and all, but I pray for Thing 2's sake the stubbornness improves.  He has the attitude that he could play chicken with an oncoming vehicle and win.  Ahhh...fingers are crossed the stubbornness improves.  Definitely won't be holding my breath though.

Well I believe that is a good start.  Come back to see what stories I have to add of my Things' witty charms!

Thanks for reading!

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