Role Reversal?

Scientists have said that like women, men have monthly cycles themselves without the awesome benefits of bleeding constantly, bloating, having their breasts feel like they were used for boxing practice, having to shove cotton plugs up the cooch to keep themselves from bleeding all over their sweat pants because nothing else fits this one week of the month...blah, blah, blah.  I really think this was a man who came up with this "monthly cycle" for males shit.  I think he was in a pissy mood, mangina showing, and needed to come up with an excuse so that his man card was not revoked.

However, if this so called "cycle" really exists, Head Thing is on it and bad!  Last night he was literally pacing in front of me pissed off, ranting and raving about something going on with his computer game he plays.  Here I am trying to watch The Soup and attempting to look around him all while trying to ignore him.  I am officially playing the male role. 

I finally pause my show and ask him, "are you done yet?"  Wrong question to ask. 

That set him off to further bitching and moaning, "I'm sorry I was trying to 'communicate' with you.  I thought you liked it when I did that." 

"That I do dear, but your whining about not being able to sell an item in a game, hardly a problem I can help you with."

He finally removes his peter from the mythical cavernous regions of his mangina and stops bitching to me about it.  My show ends and we go back to the bedroom.

I start giving him shit about his big "V" showing.  He begs to disagree. "I am a dick and an asshole.  Hey, you can just call me anal sex."  Dear god there are times Head Thing really needs help.  I respond, "ummm, honey, one, anal sex would be 'in an asshole' not 'and an asshole', two, I'm not quite sure why you would choose that to describe yourself, but I wouldn't go telling your friends that."  Head Thing has never been really good at description, gotta love him for trying though!

So last night I got to play the man in front of the TV and listen to the spouse do nothing but bitch.  Thank you Mr. Scientist who came up with a male version of menses.  It gives men an excuse to be nagging bitches, without due cause.  I'm sorry you couldn't comprehend why women get bitchy, feeling they have no reason to be.  But the day you have to shove products designed by men up your "V" hole, or are so sore it feels like you were pushed down 5 flights of stairs, let me know how nice you feel like being to everyone else around you.  Women have a reason, Mr. Scientist, why don't you research that.