F U Bakery App!

So I have an iPhone 4.  A smartphone so smart it does just about everything but wipe my ass or give me a reach around (if that is even really possible as a female).  I have this one application called Bakery.  Really addicting.  It's your own personal bakery where you have to, guess what, bake and serve items to your customers to make them happy.  Why I find enjoyment in this, I know not.  But Bakery App, I have something to say to you.  Fid du and your stupid alerts of "your food is ready, serve it now" that somehow makes my alarm not go off when it's time to wake up in the morning. 

Today was my first day back for the semester.  Why a college thinks that starting the semester on a Friday is a smart idea, is beyond me.  I really wonder who got paid for that piss poor decision.  Besides the point, I have to be out my door at no later than 7:25 with Thing 1 in tow to take him to school, then get myself to school on time for my 8am class.  My vivid dreaming woke me up, looking at the clock I see it is 7:37, Thing 1 still in bed as well.  I screamed several profanities then looked at my phone to see the message from my bakery letting me know my sugar cookies were ready to be served.  As soon as I ignored that the prompt for my alarm came up.  My phone is so smart that it prioritises virtual food over having my ass up on time.

I yell at Thing 1 to run to get ready because we were very, very late.  I call my teacher to let him know I'm gonna be late, while at the same time trying to throw on clothes within arms reach that look and smell clean.  Total boot camp style dressing session!  I throw on deodorant to cover up the funk, really would have rather had a shower, but no, my alarm couldn't go off for me to be able to do that before going out into public.  So nappy hair, enjoy the ponytail today.

Thing 1 and I race out the door after getting dressed at light speed.  After dropping him off at school the realization hit me, I feel dirty, breakfast is no longer an option, didn't grab anything for lunch, oh and I forgot to brush my damn teeth.  So not only do I look like ass, I smell like it too!  Watch out class mates I'm ripe today!  Needless to say I sat as far away from everyone as I possibly could so as not to offend their nostrils. 

So...oh the phone just dinged, my raspberry macaroons are done at the bakery...yeah, that was my day.  Do you think I will learn my lesson with the app?  To be honest, I could probably sooner shit a life size replica of Auguste Rodin's "The Thinker" before I learned my lesson.  I'll probably just be a little more strategic with the items I make (different items take different lengths of time to make).  So I state, "Fuck you Bakery App, for being fun then turning around and slapping me in the face...all while still being fun enough to make me play with you.  WTF?  This is seriously feeling like a one sided relationship here.  I get to have fun, and get fucked in the process, what do you get?  Huh? Huh?  That's right...nothing."

Some people never learn...I'm one of those people...